


Vacker - Romance Analysis

by luminism



Series: I just wanted to get closer [1]
Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Almost Kiss, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, HA nope, Kissing, Pining, Rated T for a couple of swears, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28966815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luminism/pseuds/luminism
Summary: Romance analysis, due Monday1. Effect of lighting on mood2. Effect of the shots on mood3. Effect of Tam's eyes on Biana4. His smile5. The way he's looking at Biana6. Tam, who is sitting so, so close
Relationships: Tam Song/Biana Vacker
Series: I just wanted to get closer [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141004
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	Vacker - Romance Analysis

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I am not a film major. I don't mention a lot of film stuff in this because of that, but keep in mind that if there's anything I do reference and it's inaccurate it's because I don't know what I'm talking about.  
> 2\. This is a spinoff of a series! My friend and I had an idea of various KOTLC fics that we would put into one AU. I don't know if we're ever going to get around to finishing and posting the rest, but keep in mind that this is a part of that series that I came up with and decided to write solo. There will be a sequel to this telling what happens to Tam and Biana after the events of Valentine's Day (if I ever get around to finishing it)  
> 3\. Within this AU, Della and Alden grew up in the United States, then moved to England shortly after Fitz was born (our way of explaining the Vacker accent referenced in the books). They did move back to the states when Fitz was a senior in high school and Biana was a junior in high school, but I figured that Biana would use British variations of English words (like flat). I tried to be as accurate as I could with her vocabulary and talking about school, but I am American and I don't know anything, which seems to be a common trend with the things I write fics about.  
> 4\. I wrote a lot of this in class back in like September-November but didn't want to post it until Valentine's Day, so my writing is a little different even with some editing. Please do not follow my lead and actually pay attention in class because I am suffering the consequences of not paying attention a few months ago  
> 5\. I probably didn't have to rate this as T since the swearing isn't major but I'd rather rate up than down on accident
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Valentine's Day sucks.

No, Biana actually loves Valentine's Day. In primary school it meant sweets, and classroom parties, and silly cards from classmates. It was philia, love of one's classmates and friends. In secondary school it meant secret confession notes, "couples" exchanging pound shop gifts, and cheap candy grams. It was puppy love, awkward pimply tweens dancing with a foot of space between them. In high school, once she moved to the states, it almost meant real love, real gifts, real dates. It was teens returning to their days of playing pretend, wearing their moms' heels and acting like adults.

But now, in university, watching her friends find someone important to them while she sits and waits, it sucks. It means rom-coms in the dark, and the flat to herself, and wondering what he's doing. It's unfulfilled love, wishing she knew what to do. And truly, what's a better way for a lonely extrovert to spend Valentine's Day than doing homework by herself?

So that's why Biana finds herself tearing apart her pantry instead of her wardrobe before her Valentine's Day date.

**biana**

hey where's the popcorn

**linh**

I don't know

ask Sophie

**biana**

fine

Biana huffs in frustration. _Well, that was helpful._ She could always just not eat popcorn while watching the film. No, that would be blasphemy. 

**biana**

sophie

where's the popcorn

don't ignore me

this is an emergency

**sophie**

this is not an emergency

but it's in the pantry

Yeah, that would make sense. But either Sophie's lying, or Biana's just really blind, because the popcorn is most definitely not in the pantry. 

**biana**

where??????

**sophie**

Biana I'm trying to study

it's somewhere in the pantry near the emergency icing

**biana**

heh

"studying"

that's what you're doing at the library

where your boyfriend works

on valentine's day

**sophie**

i. 

am.

studying.

**biana**

"studying"

;D

**sophie**

… I'm muting you now

**biana**

<3

thank you sophieeee 

have a good date

Well, Sophie's not going to be talking to Biana for a while, so she might as well keep looking for the popcorn. It turns out that Biana's just blind, because sure enough, there's the popcorn, right next to the emergency icing (which has only been replaced twice since Christmas). 

"Ha, gotcha," Biana says. She tosses the bag of popcorn into the microwave before walking to the living room to set up her blanket armor on the couch in preparation for the film. 

Biana’s pillow palace consists of three pillows and a cocoon of fluffy blankets, and she was just considering if she needed more pillows for pure comfort when someone knocked on her door. That must be her knight in shining armor ready to save her on this horrible Valentine’s Day with a box of chocolates and two film tickets. Yeah, right. 

Biana throws the door open to find Tam, looking somewhat distressed and flustered. His eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh! Hi?” Biana says, also confused and also feeling quite flustered at the image of Tam standing at her door unannounced. 

“Um, is Linh here?”

“No, she’s out with Wylie, sorry. I don’t know when she’ll be back.” 

“Oh,” Tam says. 

“Are you alright?” Biana asks. _Why are you here?_ is what she wants to ask. _What does “oh” mean?_ “You seem distressed, I can tell Linh you were here.”

“No, no, don't worry about it. Thank you though.” The two stand outside the flat for a while, looking everywhere but at each other. Tam clears his throat and turns to leave. “Well, in that case I’ll leave you a—"

“Wait,” Biana says, reaching towards Tam. She drops her hand and shifts it towards the door uncomfortably. “Do you want to stay? It’s cold out today, and I’m not doing much if you’d just like to hang out for a while. That is, if you don’t have anywhere to be. God, sorry, I just kind of assumed that you didn’t have anywhere to be since you’re here, and um. Yeah. So would you like to come inside? I have food, heating, and a television.”

Tam hesitates. “Are you sure I wouldn’t be intruding?”

“Of course!” Biana agrees. “I mean I’ll be doing an assignment so it might be a little boring for you, but feel free to stay here away from the arctic known as northeastern February.”

“No, I really don’t want to intrude. If you’re doing homework I might just distract you.”

He has no idea how true that is. 

Biana shrugs. “It’s a film thing, it doesn’t take that much thought. I’d just be sitting on the couch eating popcorn alone taking notes if you don’t come in.” As if on cue, the microwave beeps, letting her know that the popcorn was ready and way too hot for human consumption. 

“Alright, I’d love that,” Tam says, taking off his shoes and winter gear.

Biana watches him for a moment, studying the way his hair was ruffled from the hat he had been wearing. Studying Tam’s hair eventually became studying Tam’s arms, and Tam’s lips, and all of Tam until Biana is tempted to run and grab her costume sketchbook to capture the costume in her head. There he stands, an ice prince with a silver crown and splashes of blue that complement his eyes. Dark fabric to contrast against the silver highlights, drawing attention to his hair. A single flower tucked behind his ear, saved from the frost by the warmth and love of the princess who gifted it to her prince before he left on his quest, planting a single kiss—BEEP. Biana is jolted back into reality by the microwave’s insistent beeping.

Tam smiles, graciously choosing to not mention how Biana had been staring at him for the past thirty seconds. “I think the microwave is trying to tell you something.”

Biana blinks. “Oh, yeah, duh.” She walks out to the kitchen and over to the microwave. “I’ll get a bowl of popcorn, you can go ahead and sit down on the couch.” _Really, what’s wrong with you today? You’re never like this._

Biana looks over at the couch and laughs. Tam is standing next to the couch, unsure of what to do with the mountain of pillows taking up all the space.

“Go ahead and move those,” Biana says. “You’re a guest, it’s okay.”

Biana sets the popcorn down on the table in front of the TV, grabs her assignment, turns _Roman Holiday_ on, and curls up on the couch, ready to focus on her analysis. 

Tam and Biana are friends. They're nothing more than that, never have been. Even the "moments" they've had weren't really moments, so there's no logical reason for them to be awkward. But who says love is logical?

For the first half of the film, Biana sits on one end of the couch with her knees up to her chest and a pillow held tight in her arms, while Tam sits on the other end sitting straight up, as still as a corpse. She knows she has an assignment that she still has to focus on, and she really does try. But no work was getting done. It's like her mitochondria went into overdrive ensuring that her cells are completely aware of Tam's presence. And they are aware. Very, very aware. 

_All I wanted to do,_ Biana thinks, w _as to get my homework done, move on with my day, and go to sleep and pretend that there was a strange glitch in the Matrix resulting in this year having 364 days._ She glances─no, stares at Tam. _God, he's so distracting. Damn it Biana focus!_

And of course, her brain chooses to wander. It wanders to places that make her glad that she had an assignment to pretend to work on in order to hide her burning face. So as to not look suspicious, Biana writes random thoughts on her worksheet, occasionally stopping to erase or "think about her assignment". In the middle of one thought that no one, especially not Tam, should ever see, Tam snorts and makes Biana just about shoot off the couch.

_Oh shit, he saw._

"What?" Biana asks as she attempts to inconspicuously hide her paper. 

"It just seems like something Keefe would do," Tam says. 

Huh? If he thinks that what she wrote is something Keefe would do, Biana has seriously got to be missing something between those two. Biana looks up at the TV. Audrey Hepburn is smacking Gregory Peck's arm after he pretended to have lost his hand in the mouth of truth.

Biana bursts out laughing because, as Tam pointed out, Keefe would definitely scare someone the exact same way if given the chance. 

_Thank God_ , Biana thinks. It's then that she realized that Tam wouldn't be looking at her assignment and her stress was completely irrational. Nonetheless, she makes sure to meticulously erase any mention of Tam and romantic wanderings from her paper.

"Did you know that Aubrey Hepburn actually got tricked by Gregory Peck? He didn't tell her that he was going to pretend that his hand would be bitten off, so her reaction was genuine." 

"Really?" Biana nods. "That reminds me of that time I scared you at the haunted house. I thought you were going to kill me."

"I almost did!" They both laugh and fall into a comfortable silence. _Thank you,_ Biana thinks. _You're now my favorite scene in this film._

Biana has to think that for the rest of her life, because she seriously owes it to this scene to break the ice between them. Biana stretches out across the cushions, Tam's posture relaxes, and the two finally feel comfortable enough to move around without being awkward. The assignment that Biana had been so desperately trying to focus on earlier now lay abandoned on the table. She'll have to rewatch the whole film later to get it done, but that isn't an issue now. Right now, she's only focused on having a good time laughing and watching a film with Tam.

Somehow, at some point, Tam and Biana end up right next to each other. Biana hadn’t even noticed until her shoulder bumped into Tam’s. The foot of space between them has shrunk to a couple inches, faces too close for this to lead to anything other than disaster. Just an hour ago Biana had wanted that space gone more than anything, but now she almost wishes that it was still there to stop her from doing something stupid she might regret later.

Like kissing Tam.

Biana's so tempted to close the distance, meet his lips, make the delirious daydreams she’s had for months come true. Her breath catches as Tam reaches out, cradling her face with his hand. The two tilt their heads, finally giving in to the gravitational force drawing them closer. Biana studies his lips before closing her eyes and wondering how it would feel to collide with the brightest star in her universe.

They're centimeters away when a notification sounds, startling Biana's eyes open and forcing her back to her end of the couch. Tam darts his head around, eyes wide until they settle on his phone, which buzzes again as if to prove a point. Tam checks the text and sighs. Biana, however, is biting back a sigh for a different reason. The foot of space has returned, joined once again by the pillow she was hugging to her chest earlier.

"I'm sorry," Tam says. “Dex is asking where I am."

"It's fine," Biana says. "If you have to, you should go."

_Shit, that came out wrong._ Tam's face falls. 

"Yeah, I guess so." They sit there for a moment, thousands of words running in their minds screaming to be said. Biana doesn't know what his mind is saying, but she knows hers has a lot of _don't go'_ s and _come back here and_ _kiss me_ 's. 

Instead, she says nothing. 

"Well I'll be heading out then." Tam rises and walks towards the door, avoiding Biana's eyes. She wouldn't meet his either, or even move from her tight position hugging her pillow. "Bye, Biana."

“Bye, Tam.”

Biana never turns around to see him out. The only reason she knows he's gone was because of the soft click of the door being closed behind him.

Shit. She pulls her legs up to her chest and puts her head down, burying her face in the pillow. She can’t bring herself to turn the TV off, so the rest of Roman Holiday plays as the background music to her pity party. The scene where Princess Anne and Joe Bradley say goodbye definitely does not help her current emotional state, simply eliciting a bittersweet laugh from her. 

The film eventually ends, and Biana relaxes her legs a little bit, still clutching the pillow to her chest. She stares at her distorted reflection on the blank TV screen, thinking about everything and nothing, her mind playing a precocious game of parkour to avoid thinking of Tam and everything that could have been. 

❤

Biana doesn't know how long she had been sitting there before Sophie got home. All she knows is that suddenly Sophie is sitting on the couch, poking her cheek and repeating Biana's name.

“Hmm? Oh, sorry," Biana says as she absentmindedly swats Sophie's hand away.

"Wow, you're alive." Sophie says. When Biana doesn't respond, she frowns. "Or maybe you're not. You okay?"

"I don't know what to do. This is weird and I don't like it."

"I'm gonna need you to catch me up. I thought you had an assignment to do, what happened with that?"

"Tam stopped by."

"Oh," Sophie grins. "And what did Tam need?"

"He was looking for Linh and she wasn't here, so I invited him in anyway and he asked what I was up to and I told him and asked if he wanted to stay and then he did and—"

"And?" Sophie prompts, leaning forward to see Biana's face when she hides.

Biana sits on the couch, staring at her lap while Sophie continues to play with her hair. She can hear the hundreds of unasked questions and feel Sophie’s concerned gaze focused on her. She knows that Sophie's dying for answers, but doesn’t want to push Biana and would never make her say anything she doesn’t want to. Biana loves her for it. She appreciates her friend’s patience and wants to answer all her unasked questions and make her concerned stare go away. 

But any time she thinks about what happened, she wants to curl up in a ball and die from embarrassment, pinch herself and wake up from this dream (and/or nightmare), or some mix of the two. Then there’s the third option, the worst thing she wanted to do. The worst thing that she wanted to do, the little rebellious part of her brain screaming in her ear like a devil on her shoulder? 

More than anything, Biana wants to run to Tam’s dorm and pick up where they left off. 

So instead of easing Sophie’s worries, Biana flops back on the couch and throws the pillow over her face. Which definitely does not ease Sophie’s worries, based on Sophie's anguished sigh. Then the couch shifts as Sophie stands, patting Biana’s arm on her way up.

“D’you want some pancakes?”

Biana gives a muffled yes in response, quiet enough that Biana could barely hear it, but loud enough that Sophie could hear. Or maybe Sophie just knows Biana really well, because soon she hears the clanging of pans and opening of drawers as Sophie moves around the kitchen collecting all the things she needs to make pancakes. 

Biana lays there on the couch, trying to collect her thoughts and the words she wants in between flashes of Tam’s face moving closer to hers and filling in the blanks of what could have happened. After a few moments, she pushes herself up and looks over the back of the couch to watch Sophie cook pancakes. Knowing Sophie, she notices that Biana has moved, but doesn’t want to say anything until Biana starts talking. Really, bless Sophie. 

“We were watching a film,” Biana starts, breaking the silence filling the apartment. “Tam and I. We were watching Roman Holiday, because he came over as I was starting my assignment. And we were talking for a while but then Dex texted him and I—“ Sophie glances over at Biana while placing a small stack of pancakes on a plate. 

“You… what?”

Biana stares at the plate of pancakes Sophie brought over to her. Damn it, why did she try to kiss him? Why did she invite him in? And why is she trying to explain this whole ordeal to Sophie? Never mind, curse Sophie and her good listening powers. 

And her pancakes, delicious as they are. 

"Sophie, I think I really like him."

Sophie sighs and pats her on the head. "I know."

❤

**and make it double!**

DEX

TIMING

**prepare for trouble!**

WHAT???

**and make it double!**

YOU INTERRUPTED THEM

THEY WERE HAVING A ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*moment*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

DEX

THEY COULD HAVE KAYAKS

*KISSED

**prepare for trouble!**

listen i don't even want to hear it from you

tam gave me an earful when he got back to the dorm and now he's moping

did biana even tell you what happened

**and make it double!**

no, she refused to give me details and then she went to her room

but I can tell something happened

a moment Dex

a moment

**prepare for trouble!**

how was i supposed to know? 

i can't just read my roommate's mind

**and make it double!**

what, like it's hard?

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> We all need to thank my emotional support cognate moonlark (epistolaries) who helped me reword, got me writing when I was stuck, had the most beautiful way of wording things, and was just generally hilarious and so so helpful in this writing process. Without her I wouldn't have been able to come up with ideas, make decisions (even though we're both indecisive), or even have an AU to have written this fic within. She's the best person who could have been here with me, even if she will never let me live down the time I found out I can't spell serotonin.
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you enjoyed this even if it is a bit old and aren't too mad at me for backing out of a kiss scene because I realized that I don't know how to write kisses. ♡


End file.
